Bucket List

I was thinking about Bucket lists the other day. a list of things that I want to have accomplished by the time I die. Some things are things that will most likely happen anyway, some things are just random fancies that I would love to do someday. Some are highly unlikely to ever come about, but its my bucket list, and I can dream about it if I want.
I could write a detailed itemized list, but that would just be boring. I figured I might share a few of the things I hope to one day instead. Some I have mentioned before. For instances you have probably guessed that book writing, conference speaking and traveling are the top items on my bucket list. So no need to expound on them.

I have long believed I was born about 65 years too late. I love all things 1930's-40's. I love the old movies from then. I love the fact that the country put hard work at the top of there priority list (now a days it seems that the priority is to make money doing as little as possible) It was a time when people banded together when a nation was at war to help eachother. It was a time when dancing was a great past time, and it was real dancing. Not this disgusting wiggling commonly referred to as "dancing" nowadays. It required talent to dance then. Everyone knew how to  dance. Thats why learning the Charleston is number 7 on my bucket list. To be able to dance it like Ginger Rogers would be my preference. Impossible, I know, but its my bucket list. I can dream it up however I want.
To be able to dance the jitterbug, jive, etc ranks up there with number 7 too. That would be so cool. If you know of any good instructional videos, do let me know of them. You can help me make trusty number 7 a reality.

I've always wanted to live on a farm. One day I hope to live on one. Not large, but to raise pigs, chickens and dairy cows. Of course this wouldn't take place till after I had done my traveling circuit, but its still one thing I'd love to do. I've always wanted to have milk cows. Thats why number 4 on my list is to own a Jersey milk cow named Sybil.

Sometimes I think I need about 4 lifetimes to accomplish everything I want to do. Back to the 1940's, I love the idea of having a Diner with a soda counter. Mixing up cool alcohol-free beverages, serving up ice cream, serving breakfast and lunches. I think I could be a pretty good short-order cook. Item number 9: own a 1940's style soda counter Diner complete with a Juke box that played only popular 1940's songs. I think I would open it up for some Charleston dancing on the weekends. I of course will be able to dance like Ginger Rogers in this fantasy, and would be a wonderful Charleston teacher, and we would have Charleston competitions on a regular basis. I would win them all. Because I'd be able to dance like Ginger Rogers.

I think that that is enough bucket list items for now. Hopefully one day Ill be able to achieve them all. Hopefully I have many years left to accomplish them. Whats your bucket list look like?

Missing Africa

I've traveled. I've said it before, and I'm sure by my mentioning it in nearly every blog entry, you have come to the conclusion that I absolutely love it. And miss it. Normally its Europe I'm yearning for, but at present its Africa. I've been looking through my pictures of my last 2010 trip there. I miss it. I miss the kids, I miss the people, I miss having fun with other visitors of the IRIS center where I stayed both times I went. I miss the church services, the babies, the missionaries who live and work on the center. In short, I really miss Africa. I need to find a rich husband to fund all my traveling wants.( That was a joke). But don't think I haven't thought about it !(that was a joke too, I am not a money-hungry-discontented-man-hunting-girl. Trust me, I'm not)

I miss pretty much everything about my time spent in Africa. The last time I went to Africa I traveled straight from Ukraine. I had been gone for a month before I came home to the good old US of A. Besides missing my family, I wasn't homesick at all. I gloried in every moment spent on foreign ground, even to the time where myself and another short-termer had to rescue one of the other short termer from a woman hungry runt of a man who upon seeing Rene's blond hair declared himself in love with her and proposed on the spot. He was surprisingly strong for a little man, but Christine and I managed to fight him off and leave the market unscathed. We laughed after the fact and told Rene` next time we went anywhere with her we would make her wear a paper-bag over her head to avoid any other mishaps with men who want a free ride to the US with a pretty blonde.

I miss street ministry, and preaching to and feeding street kids, getting soaked to the bone in a raging storm, having to yell at the top of our voices to be heard of the thunder. Feeling the hairs on arms stick up from the lightening that struck the building we were standing next to. Honestly, that was one of my favorite moments of the entire trip.

I even miss trying to evade the grasps of many little girl hands attempting to braid my hair. I had been through that harrowing experience on my previous trip to Mozambique, and wasn't about to go through it again if I could help it. You haven't experienced head pain till you have 5 girls braiding your hair all at once, each tugging your head in different directions at the same time. It hurts.

I miss eating the rice with the children, using our fingers as spoons, in the large building that serves as both church and dining hall. There is a lot to miss, and I miss all of it. I hope to one day return to Africa. I hope to being able to one day travel there often, as often as I do Ukraine. For now I content myself with pictures, memories, prayers and dreams, and the thankfulness I feel that I have been able to see Africa, not once but twice. Its a lot to be thankful for.

  Rene` and I after church with children who live on the center and who live in the community

                                                             Paulo and I

                                                   Helena, Myself and Anita
 (Helena has since gone home to be with Jesus. Its hard to know I won't see her on this earth again)

          My sister Anna and I the day we left the Center in 2010 with a bunch of the little boys

Dreaming of the Big Picture

I feel like I've been created to do great things. Like God has a plan for me that will blow me away. Its not a conceited feeling. I don't think I'm any better than the next person. I just can't believe that God could have brought me through things without having a greater plan in mind. Like God hasn't given me certain gifts without having the plan to use them. I like to talk. A lot. I'm a chatterbox once you get me started. I even have inner dialogs with myself going on all the time. Why? Cause I can't seem to get myself to shut up even when there is no one around to talk to.  I'm in a position now, of both authority and up-frontness, where my gift of gab is extremely necessary. I feel like my love of speaking and desire to bring the Lord to teenagers go hand in hand. I've always wanted to do something in the 'Public Eye' so to speak. To be up front, to be able to be in front of huge crowds. Although when I was 16 and first learning guitar, I was determined to be in a Band, basically the next BarlowGirl. My sister and cousin and I even had a name, "Your Biggest Fan" complete with a theme song we wrote in my room, where one of the lines was "We will rock your socks cause we're your biggest fans". Song writing was not our strong point. I wanted to be the drummer of the band, cause I always figured the drummers were the coolest people. I broke a good pair of chopsticks knocking away on buckets in my room to my own version of what I thought was 'rhythm' (I blush to say that is not made up at all. Really happened)
I was certain I was meant to be a musician. I was going to be famous. In a way that happened, though I wasn't famous, I did get some new Myspace (remember that place?) followers from people I met when I was in a worship band that played at youth conferences and things.and I've been a member of our church's worship team for 5 years and I lead worship for youth group. However, as I matured, the rock star ideal faded and I decided I liked my ability to talk, and my lack of shyness made that easy. I think I was around 18 or 19 when I began to feel a passion for speaking. I didn't do it much. I became a youth leader 2 months before my 19th birthday, and was the small group leader for half the youth group. I soon discovered that teaching from a curriculum was not my thing. My first lesson as the small group youth leader, I completely rewrote. Same basis, my words. I can't teach from a lesson plan to save my life. I have no passion for it if it wasn't inspired by God to me personally. I'm not saying that these plans and curriculum's weren't good, they were great, and I would have really enjoyed it had I been the one being taught them. But I just couldn't teach someone else's words. The dynamics of youth group eventually changed, and the new youth director let me teach a few times. I remember my first time teaching. I was so excited and nervous. I labored for a long time over my message. You can imagine when it only took 15 minutes to get through everything when I had an hour to fill. Despite that, I was allowed to teach again, and several years later I was asked to step in as youth director. I was apprehensive, uncertain, and, I admit, a little scared. But I was excited. I could finally start speaking on a regular basis. And I'm having so much fun doing it. Every time I get to lead someone to Christ, I am so excited. God is using me. me! And I feel that this is only the beginning. I still want to be speaking to large groups. I still would love to travel and be a main speaker at conferences. I still feel like that's what I'm called to do. I feel like God is training me right now for the bigger picture. I'm learning so much from my current position. I love working with teenagers. I love little kids too, However, I used to teach Sunday School, and lets just say  that that wasn't my strong point. A desperation for Sunday school teachers at the time was what got me to teaching it, and I'm not sure anyone really benefited from my teaching the 3-5 year olds. (well, except the time I decided I would NOT teach them about Steven being stoned to death like it said in the lesson plan. I was not going to be the cause of their nightmares)

Thats another thing. I love teenagers. I've always wanted to help teenagers, to chat with them, to teach them, to inspire them. So you put two and two together and what do you get? a girl longing to be able to reach the masses in almost any setting, as long as she gets to talk.Talk about Jesus and what he's done for her. Its a pretty good dream. I think I'll live it.

Dreams of the Future

Today you get a two-in-one, no extra charge. My last post went in a completely different direction than I had originally intended. The problem was I liked it and thought it would be a shame to delete it and start over, so you get two in one day. A moment of silence for this momentous occasion in the history of Cara's blogging. Thank you.

I have a table at this coffee shop that I've sat at every week for the past 3 or 4 weeks. A little round back corner table. It is not my favorite. I like the one to the right of the front door better. Its not right by a window, but you get a clear view of whats going on around you. Here I'm oblivious to all because its behind me rather than surrounding me. I suppose that that is a good thing, considering when I'm here I'm busy working, but still. I like to know whats going on. Maybe its because I like to people watch. Maybe its because I just like to be aware. Or maybe its the fact that my favorite table is larger and square, allowing for more room for my lap top, books, notebooks etc. Its roomier. Unfortunately, it has been full every week for a long time. Instead, here I sit, at a tiny little round table in a tiny little corner.

What is it about the atmosphere of coffee shops that allow one to accomplish things that are otherwise difficult to accomplish? for instance, I have better ideas as to what to write or blog while sitting at a coffee shop table as opposed to sitting at home. Ideas flow freely, sentences and phrases come to my mind more easily. I like it here. I like it here. Id like to work at a coffee shop some day. My best friend wants to own a coffee shop someday. I told her I'd help her run it. She said she'd pay me in kind thoughts and words.

Something that I long to do one day is travel to London, find a coffee shop with Wifi and just write. Write what ever comes to my mind, write to my hearts content. And consume large amounts of brewed  caffeinated beverages in the process. I think I could be good at that. Drinking coffee and writing. My kind of hobby. And, in the process, travel all of the world and speak at youth conferences. I think I have the love of traveling, writing and speaking for a reason. I know I have them for a reason. I love doing them. Working as the youth director of my church has been so much fun, so fulfilling. It combines two of the things I love most to do, writing and speaking. And I get to lead worship as an added bonus. Plus I do a lot of my writing in Starbucks. Now if only I was traveling the world and doing these things, that would be the epitome of bliss in my mind. In the meantime, I find my duties as the Director of Student Ministries (that's what my title is on the church website. I sound so legit) as a wonderful training ground. I am learning the do's and don'ts of student ministry. I'm learning my process of writing and speaking. I'm learning how to follow God's lead on messages. I'm learning how to better understand the Bible. Its inspiring me to be better at what I do. Its improving my relationship with God. Its giving me insight into the lives of my students. Its given me a better understanding of patience (and ways to to practice it. If you ever run a youth group with only 2 girls amongst a sea of boys  you'll understand)

Well, that's where I'd like to be one day. Doing all of the above, all over the world. Its a dream, one that I feel certain can one day be a reality. But until then, I will continue learning and working. And one day maybe you'll meet me, in some foreign coffee shop, wearing a cool hat and writing vigorously on my lap top.

Words and Sounds

When I started this blog, I had an idea how I wanted each entry to sound. I wanted it to be chill, a descriptive view of how I see things. Something that would be interesting to the reader. I really like Donald Miller's style of writing. I think if you go back and look at my school papers you'd see that this is the most comfortable writing style for me. If I ever write a book, it'll be written in first person. I like coming from my view of things. How things play out in my mind, written as if I were describing an event, or thing, to someone else. Of course I get to use better adjectives writing it on a blog as opposed to speaking out loud. There are some words, I'm sure, that were meant to be written, not used in every day speech. A lot of times because they look better on paper (or screen) than they sound spoken. I'm sure I misuse adjectives on here, but sometimes you just need a nifty sounding word to make an other wise dull sentence sound interesting. I have a thesaurus on my iPhone that I use when blog writing, or writing youth messages. I'm a fan of words. The more interesting the better. Average every day language isn't nearly as interesting written as it is spoken.
I was thinking about this because I've been working on my Ukrainian. Words in other languages are interesting, especially if you know what they mean. Unfortunately,  you can't stick random Ukrainian words into English like you might with French or Spanish. Its so completely different than English. They have their own alphabet complete with oddly shaped letters  that are extremely difficult to write. And they have letters that are shaped like English letters, but having a completely different sound. And they have letters that are backward English letters. Those are hard to write. When you are so used to correctly spelling things, to having to write letters backwards...sometimes I think my brain can't handle it. And don't get me started on pronunciation. Its so odd to make my mouth form words in a completely different ways. Letters and sounds that are never formed in English are difficult for an English speaking person to speak. My mouth isn't trained to make those sounds, or to put such odd sounds together to make a word that could be remotely understood by a Ukrainian speaking person. Its strange how words are formed, and made. It must have been a headache at the Tower of Babel. So many languages, no one able to understand the next person, the frustration of not being able to get your point across. Its so relieving to actually hear words you know. Like after being in another country for a long time, and then finally hearing an American speaking a language you understand. As much as I love traveling and going to different countries, it is always nice to hear the familiarity of your own tongue. To be able to communicate without the aid of a translator. Its a nice, independent feeling. I hope to someday be in a foreign language speaking country and be able to communicate with the ease I do in the U.S.